VIEWPOINTS

March 2nd, 2010 | Laura Sessions Stepp

What We Can Learn from this Year’s Olympians
- Laura Sessions Stepp

Ashleigh McIvor, Canada's Olympic ski queen, told a reporter last week that the ski cross techniques that won her a gold medal were learned by "chasing the boys down the hills" of her native Whistler and Cypress Mountains.

Last week, the Canadian boys were chasing her and other amazing female Canadians who competed in the 21st Olympic winter games. Canada fielded 43 women and 206 men this year. For the second winter Olympics in a row, the women out-medaled the men.

Canadians are crowing this week about their men’s gold-medal hockey victory over the Americans on Sunday. But for the preceding two weeks, their female athletes were the ones dominating the Canadian media.

(What does this have to do with intimacy? Plenty. Keep reading.)

February 22nd, 2010 | Laura Sessions Stepp

Dating Violence: Not Just “Their” Problem
- Laura Sessions Stepp

Last week, the University of Oregon’s highly-touted running back, LaMichael James, was charged with strangling, assaulting and harassing his girlfriend.

Misdemeanor charges.

That’s all?

Pushed her down in a public parking lot.

Didn’t anyone see it?

We don’t know. Because from what I can tell from news clips and blogs, no reporter asked.

February 16th, 2010 | Laura Sessions Stepp

Fantasy Match-Up: Delilah Rene and Hannah Seligson
- Laura Sessions Stepp

I’d pay good money to see Delilah Rene, 50, and Hannah Seligson, 25, sit down over a bottle of Bordeaux and talk about love. Here’s why:

Delilah, whose nightly radio show by the same name is heard by 8 million listeners a week, calls herself the “Queen of Sappy Love Songs.” Her world, said Ellen McCarthy in last week’s Washington Post, is “a schmaltzy, airbrushed place where love is all that matters….”

February 8th, 2010 | Laura Sessions Stepp

Science and Sense in the Abstinence Wars
- Laura Sessions Stepp

News organizations carried a story last week about a successful, experimental sex ed curriculum focused on abstinence. What follows is my blog post about the study, which ran in The Huffington Post, and a short sample of reaction to the post.

*****

When I read the lead paragraph of last week’s news story on the success of an experimental, abstinence-only sex ed curriculum, my first thought was: “Yes, but…”

February 1st, 2010 | Laura Sessions Stepp

Just Friends: Thoughts on “Cross-sex” Friendship
- Laura Sessions Stepp

A female reader named Marian emailed me recently to talk, in part, about close, non-romantic friendships with men.

“I know the men I have in my life, that I relate to with no sexual pretense, have played a huge part in how I see myself and the world at large,” she said. “They have helped me to put myself back out there after some really difficult times both with hooking up and just life in general.”

January 26th, 2010 | Laura Sessions Stepp

Firsts Are Forever
- Laura Sessions Stepp

Remember your first kiss? Of course you do. The first time you went "all the way"? Mais oui. You could probably even supply the color of the lampshade next to the bed.

Chances are, you’ll remember such first events 20, 30, even 40 years from now as well. You may not remember the details about the sixth partner you hooked up with – but the first partner? You bet, according to the cover story in the current issue of Psychology Today about the importance of “firsts.”

January 19th, 2010 | Laura Sessions Stepp

Forms of Love: Friends, Family, Flames
- Laura Sessions Stepp

With Valentine’s Day less than a month away, it’s a good time to think about love. Not falling in love; that’s easy. Our body’s chemistry takes care of that.

No, it’s the what-comes-after-the-goopy-cards that I want to talk about: the loving. That’s what scares us. It consumes time, drains our emotions, and makes us vulnerable to hurt and loss. So why do we get sucked in, again and again? Because we are creatures who attach. Two recent TV documentaries expand on this.

January 11th, 2010 | Laura Sessions Stepp

Velcro and the Dopamine Effect
- Laura Sessions Stepp

Why do White House party crashers Tareq and Michaele Salahi keep showing up in places where they aren’t invited?

One possible reason: It revs up their love life.

Research going back decades shows that doing unusual things together helps keep a couple going strong - and boosts a relationship that’s sagging. This idea was examined recently on a PBS special, “This Emotional Life.”

In one study conducted by Arthur Aron, a social psychologist at SUNY-Stony Brook, 28 couples – 24 dating, 4 married – were divided into two groups. Prior to the experiment, each individual was asked to complete a short questionnaire on how satisfying and passionate their relationship was.

December 16th, 2009 | Laura Sessions Stepp

Twenty-Something Men Want Babies, Study Says
- Laura Sessions Stepp

This piece is cross-posted from The Huffington Post, where it appeared on December 15, 2009.

*****

When I first saw Ben Stone, the 23-year-old slacker in the movie "Knocked Up," get mushy over his prospective whoops-baby, I thought, what a bunch of malarkey. Guys in their 20s don't want to be papas.

December 7th, 2009 | Laura Sessions Stepp

Sexual Assault on Campus: Can There Be Justice Without Transparency?
- Laura Sessions Stepp

Of all the college women I’ve interviewed who said they’ve been sexually assaulted on campus – and there have been a good number of them – not one ever reported the attack to campus authorities.

Their reasons have varied. Maybe they kinda' knew the guy and didn’t want to make him or his friends mad. Or they were drunk and couldn’t remember enough details to prosecute. Or they thought they should’ve known better than to put themselves in a potentially dangerous situation.

Or, and this was their biggest concern, they feared that if they did talk, nothing of substance would be done.