November 19th 2009

Seen on Twitter: Want Kids?

Ah, procreation. No one can deny that it's a big deal. Indeed, if everyone suddenly stopped having children...well, there wouldn't be much more to say... On the other hand, one could argue that the being able to control our fertility has allowed for some serious social and cultural advances. I'll resist the urge to wade into the overwhelming spiritual, political, and cultural significance of this topic, but two themes in particular stand out to me as worthy of contemplation:

1) There are so many ways to avoid having children if or when you don't want them. Yet somehow nearly half of all pregnancies in the US are unplanned. Research and anecdote--not to mention our Are You a Maybe Baby? poll--suggest that there's a lot of ambiguity among young people about whether or when to become a parent, and that that can influence the likelihood of unplanned pregnancy.

2) On the other hand, people who unambiguously don't want children are often stigmatized and interrogated for choosing the unpopular option in the incredibly important decision of whether or not to become a parent. Can't resist just one example, taken from a shockingly contemptuous 2007 article in the Daily Mail: "Ironically, the couple who have decided to deny themselves children for the sake of the planet, actively enjoy the company of young children." (This is not irony, people! Sigh.) Anyway, I've also seen a few thoughtful posts on this complex topic, one from the perspective of someone who has chosen to parent, another from the perspective of a woman who has decided not to have children.

But enough about what stands out to me--here are a few choice examples of what the people (on twitter) are saying about having kids:

1.@claireliz81: @alexwhitman25 Yes!!!! And, um, I really thought I didn't want kids, but... *sigh* I could be convinced. Easily. By the right person. --hmm...yes, that right person certainly can help things along...

2.@latinabeatz: Am I the only one who does not want kids? I Adore children, they adore me, just don't want any of my own. --Memo to Daily Mail writer: not wanting your own kids does not mean you hate kids. (And conversely, wanting kids does not mean someone will be a good parent!)

3.@creolepatra: @latinabeatz its funny... the people who seem like they would make the best parents r the 1'z who dont want kids. but dont if u dont wanna --I defer to Liz Langley (point #3), who points out that there are lots of ways to contribute one's empathy, patience, and other qualities that might make someone a great parent to the common good...

4.@GIRTHDIGITAL: My homegirl told me the reason why she don't want kids is because all she want to do is sleep, eat and have SEX with her husband lol --a woman who knows what she wants...

5.@Jermelle: I want kids! three. I already know what I want the names to be. --gotta' love tweets that rhyme.

6.@onthewing9: Holy Crap! REVELATION! I do want kids. Odd timing for that thought. --Eureka!

7.@maryanne1851: Sorry, love. If your hubby doesn't want kids, it's never okay to just "oops" get pregnant. You should never trap a man by doing this either. --Are you listening, Heidi Montag?

8.@Ms_Alladat #theresway2many people having kids and not taking care of em! if you didn't want kids, y didn't you protect yourself!? --Indeed.

So...do you want kids?